In the past if you’d asked me the difference between wedding photography for older couples and wedding photography for younger couples, I’d say they’re both the same.
In principle of course, much of it is the same but now that I’m older, and more experienced, I’ve realised there are a few concerns you may have when you get married later in life that you don’t have when you’re younger. One in particular can really affect your choices with wedding photography and therefore affect how your day is portrayed.
There are also unique aspects of later life marriages that simply don’t exist for younger couples, like having adult children and grandchildren in the mix.
For this week’s blog, I’m going to start by focusing on a concern that comes up a lot with more mature brides, i.e., ‘the fear of looking old’, because it can seriously dampen your enthusiasm for being photographed. I’ll be exploring ways your wedding photographer can help to overcome any negative feelings.
I’ll also briefly cover the unique aspects of mature weddings and include a few suggestions and questions to consider when looking for wedding photography as an older couple.
Before all that, let’s start working on a solution for that rather common concern.
Wedding photography for older couples
Whilst it’s true that age is just a number, if you are an older couple, you might find yourselves pondering the numbers a bit longer when it comes to wedding photography, particularly if you’re the bride.
Getting past the fear of ‘looking old’ in your wedding photos
Looking old in wedding photographs is the number-one concern expressed by mature brides-to-be. And in my experience as a photographer, that fear of looking old frequently has an impact on the type of coverage people say they want of their wedding. Ironically, it’s normally the portraits, they’d like to dispense with first.
I say ironically, because portraits, more than any other aspect of wedding photography for older couples, are within your control. Sure, the photographer is taking the shots but you can look at the back of the camera. And if you don’t like the photos, you can ask them to take more.
I regulary show couples the back of the camera while we’re doing portraits anyway so they can see how good they look. Having a couple ask to see photos during a portrait session is no problem at all.
You can’t do that in the ceremony, or during the speeches, can you?
In reality, so much of how you look in photos comes down to good lighting, great composition, and flattering angles. And that’s all about the skills of the photographer.
Unfortunately, telling you to choose a photographer with great skills isn’t going to help you if you’re not a skilled photographer yourself.
But the next best thing, in my opinion, is to look for wedding photographers that make older couples look good. You should be able to see it in their portfolios and you can also ask to see examples of complete albums showing wedding photography for older couples.
If you don’t find what you’re looking for, move on.
A lot of photographers will tell you that having a good relationship is critical to great photography and it certainly helps to get the best expressions in portraits. But don’t allow it to cloud your judgement in other areas.
Remember, it’s not friendship you’re buying.
By all means look for chemistry with your photographer but make it number two or three on your list of priorities not number one. Number-one should be loving their portfolio and being able to see yourself in their photos.
The last thing I wanted to mention on the subject of worrying about looking old is editing. Or more specifically, retouching skin. If all else fails, it is possible to have wrinkles diminished and skin smoothed in Photoshop.
I don’t recommend going overboard with it. We’ve all seen horrendous Barbie doll effects on phone pics posted on Facebook and Instagram.
Retouching is not normally included in standard wedding photography packages so there will be an extra charge for each image you have retouched but it is an option.
Unique aspects of wedding photography for mature couples
Whether you’re getting married later in life or fresh from university, a large part of your photography will be similar. However, there are some unique aspects of wedding photography for older couples that I want to briefly cover in the context of working with your photographer.
Capturing multigenerational moments
If you’re getting married later in life, chances are, your wedding is not just about the two of you. It’s about all the generations of your family. So don’t forget to share this with your photographer. You’ll want your wedding story to capture moments you share with your children, grandchildren and possibly even great-grandchildren.
Portraying a second chance at love
For some of us, life’s journey takes us to unexpected places so if you’re both finding love again, your wedding day marks a poignant second chance that shouldn’t be understated, least of all by your photographer. So please don’t skimp on the portraits, they’re just as meaningful the second time round.
Merging families and friendships
As your lives come together, so do the lives of your families and friends. Your wedding day is a celebration of unity, of merging the lives you’ve led with the lives you’re creating together. You’ll see aspects of this in the natural candid moments captured by your photographer, but it can also be good to schedule a few informal, blended family portraits so that no one is missed.
Prints and albums
Today, whilst digital images are easily accessible, in 15 or 20-years’ time you may not have the technology to view your wedding photos online; certainly, I doubt we’ll still be using USB devices in that time scale. That’s why it makes a lot of sense to print your wedding photographs and albums so you’ll never lose them and they can become cherished heirlooms in the future.
Questions to ask photographers about second marriages and later life weddings
How experienced are you with photographing older couples?
Do you offer skin retouching and other editing services for more mature brides?
Can you help us with poses that are comfortable and flattering for our age?
Will you capture meaningful interactions between family members of different ages?
How do you ensure that our personalities and life experiences come through in the pictures?
Can you show us some complete albums of wedding photography with older couples that you’ve done?
Are you able to create a wedding album for us?
All weddings come with their own set of challenges, whatever your age, but most hurdles can be overcome with the right approach, particularly in photography.
For more examples of my work, view my wedding portfolio or contact me to find out if I’m available for your wedding.